How do you transition Your toddler from nap time to quiet time?

One of the most significant sleep milestones in early childhood is when your toddler stops napping. While this transition can feel bittersweet for parents who cherish that daily break, it's a normal part of development. The good news? You don't have to lose that precious midday downtime entirely. By transitioning from nap time to quiet time, you can maintain a period of rest and calm for your child, while retaining time for yourself. This post covers how to make this transition smoothly.

The Science

Most children stop napping between ages 2 and 5, with considerable individual variation. Studies show that fewer than 2.5% of children stop napping before age 2, while approximately ~33% stop napping by age 3, and ~94% have stopped napping by age 5. The preschool period represents a particularly dynamic time for this transition, with large variation in napping patterns across children.

It can be hard to know exactly when your child is really ready to drop the final nap. Nap cessation appears to be a developmental milestone related to brain maturation. Although a large study estimated that 33% of children stop napping by age 3, that doesn't mean every child was truly ready to drop their nap. A study in two-year-olds found that nap skipping results in difficulty with emotion regulation in the afternoon, so we usually recommend trying to maintain your child's nap until at least age three unless your child is showing strong signs of readiness to drop it.

On the other hand, a study in 3-5 year olds found that children who napped longer in a daycare environment during the week slept less at night and this pattern was associated with worse cognitive performance compared to children who napped less (or not at all) and slept more overnight. This suggests there is a point when daytime sleep interferes with nighttime sleep, which can be counterproductive.

Rest assured though that even after your child stops napping, periods of quiet rest time are beneficial. Research shows that less-structured time in children's daily lives leads to better self-directed executive functioning and self-regulation, meaning children who have time to play freely alone are more able to complete tasks like putting on a coat and shoes before going outside. Additionally, unstructured quiet time provides opportunities for children to develop independence, self-regulation, and creativity.

Making the Transition to quiet time

How do you know when your child is ready to drop the nap?

Signs of readiness

Watch for consistent signs that your toddler no longer needs a nap: resisting nap time for several days in a row, taking a very long time to fall asleep at nap time, or missing a nap and falling asleep unexpectedly in the afternoon and then staying awake too late. If your child is over age 3 and napping for long stretches during the day (like 2+ hours) and not getting enough sleep at night, it might be time to drop the nap in favor of a longer single bout of sleep at night.

If your child is 2, start by making nap adjustments

Most 2-year-olds won't be ready to drop their nap, but you may start to see signs of nap resistance well before age 3. If this happens, push your child's naptime later by 15-30 minutes each time your child starts to resist the nap. For example, if naptime is usually noon, but your child never falls asleep until much later, push naptime to 12:15 or 12:30. Once your child starts fighting at that time, push later again. You will likely need to wake your child from naps to avoid having bedtime push too late. Most children need 5-7 hours of awake time between the end of the nap and bedtime.

When you think your child is ready

Set the room up to allow quiet time

• Place books, stuffed animals, toys and whatever else your child might need near the bed so they are in easy reach for quiet time.

  • Since your child will be playing independently, avoid toys that could be unsafe (anything that could pose a choking risk, for example).

Start with a sleep attempt

Your child will probably stop napping entirely if playing is an option, so start by offering your child an opportunity to sleep first. To do this:

• Set a toddler clock/timed nightlight to turn on after ~20 minutes (a nightlight works great for this, audible alarms aren't a good idea).

• Do your child's normal nap routine in your child's usual nap environment (i.e., dark, quiet room)

• If your child is asleep before the nightlight turns on, let your child sleep until the end of naptime.

  • Remember that you may need to wake your child from the nap to avoid having bedtime push too late.

• If your child is awake when the nightlight turns on, go to your child and say, "it's quiet time now, you can look at books or play with your stuffed animals, but you need to stay in your room until quiet time is over."

  • You can also turn on a dimmed light or lamp, but a bright nightlight is usually sufficient for quiet time.

  • Leave the room and monitor your child (it's good to use a video monitor at first to ensure your child doesn't do anything dangerous, like climb on a bookshelf).

  • Let your child play independently for 10-20 minutes at first because most children won't be able to handle being alone for very long.

    • Once your child is used to quiet time, you can extend the bout of time that your child is in the room up to as much as an hour if your child can handle it.

  • When quiet time is over, go to your child and engage or offer praise. For example, say something like, "what books did you read?" or "what book did you like best?" or "you were so creative during your special play time!"

  • It's a good idea to rotate toys/books for quiet time so your child doesn't get bored doing the same thing each day.

  • Once your child is used to quiet time, you can stop going in when the nightlight turns on and simply let your child start to play independently.

When your child stops napping completely, switch to full-time quiet time

If your child never falls asleep during the nap attempt, it's ok to switch to full-time quiet time. In this case, you don't need to start with putting your child in a dark environment. Just turn on the nightlight, lamp, or dimmed overhead light and let your child play. It's still a good idea to do a wind-down routine to help your child settle and transition to quiet time. You can also use a toddler clock/nightlight to provide a cue signifying the end of quiet time. Note that most toddlers will not be able to handle more than an hour of independent quiet time and some children may only be able to do 20-30 minutes. Respect your child's limits and don't try to force a longer bout than your child can handle.

Frequently Asked Questions

Should I adjust bedtime if my child doesn't nap?

Yes! If your child doesn't nap, it's appropriate to move bedtime 1-2 hours earlier. Most toddlers will sleep 11-12 hours overnight on nights without a nap, so think about your child's typical wake time and put your child down 11-12 hours before that time.

Should I adjust bedtime if my child naps?

Yes! If your child naps, put your child down later. Most children need 5-7 hours awake before being ready for bedtime, so you may need to wake your child from the nap to avoid having a bedtime battle.

What if my child won't stay in the room for quiet time?

Start with a small, achievable goal and use positive reinforcement to help your child get used to quiet time. For example, do your routine and sit with your child in the room. Get your child started with looking at a book or playing with a puzzle, then say, "you finish this book/puzzle while I go feed the dog." Then, leave the room for a few minutes (it helps to monitor your child during this time), return and say, "you did a great job finishing the book/puzzle." If you think your child can handle you leaving for another bout, give your child another activity and step away again. Once you think you've reached your child's limit, say, "great job playing, quiet time is over." and end quiet time. Your child might only be able to handle a few minutes at a time to start. Once your child gets more used to the concept of quiet time, you can introduce a toddler clock to help your child understand when quiet time ends.

Need more help?

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References

Barker, J.E., Semenov, A.D., Michaelson, L., Provan, L.S., Snyder, H.R. and Munakata, Y., 2014. Less-structured time in children's daily lives predicts self-directed executive functioning. Frontiers in psychology, 5, p.593.

Colliver, Y., Harrison, L.J., Brown, J.E. and Humburg, P., 2022. Free play predicts self-regulation years later: Longitudinal evidence from a large Australian sample of toddlers and preschoolers. Early Childhood Research Quarterly, 59, pp.148-161.

Lam, J.C., Mahone, E.M., Mason, T. and Scharf, S.M., 2011. The effects of napping on cognitive function in preschoolers. Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics, 32(2), pp.90-97.

Staton, S., Rankin, P.S., Harding, M., Smith, S.S., Westwood, E., LeBourgeois, M.K. and Thorpe, K.J., 2020. Many naps, one nap, none: A systematic review and meta-analysis of napping patterns in children 0–12 years. Sleep medicine reviews, 50, p.101247.

Miller, A.L., Seifer, R., Crossin, R. and Lebourgeois, M.K., 2015. Toddler's self‐regulation strategies in a challenge context are nap‐dependent. Journal of sleep research, 24(3), pp.279-287.

Lassonde, J.M., Rusterholz, T., Kurth, S., Schumacher, A.M., Achermann, P. and LeBourgeois, M.K., 2016. Sleep physiology in toddlers: effects of missing a nap on subsequent night sleep. Neurobiology of sleep and circadian rhythms, 1(1), pp.19-26.